If you want something you've NEVER had, you have to DO SOMETHING you've NEVER done before. Which means you DO NOT KNOW what to do, so being a control freak is a waste of energy. Be led and not driven, but please understand that no one is going to GIVE you anything. Even the good Lord said that faith without works is dead. I'm excited about what's to come. I know it may not be easy, but it will be worth it. I'm accustomed to doing the "hard thing", so I'm grateful that I'm truly learning to lean not to my own understanding by acknowledging that I can do NOTHING in my own strength. I desire to be like a tree, planted and not able to be moved by this or that. I desire to be a solid person, whole and entire, and lacking nothing. I am becoming just that: content. I am becoming her, the woman God designed and purposed for such a time as this. It's a good time to be alive. I am truly grateful for everything and nothing in particular at the same time. God is great and greatly to be praised.